Me and Stupid Me

i never did learn. i told my self before not to indulge again on this such things but because of promising views and positive feeling i dug deep myself to things i would later have pain with. i just got a hold of unwanted feelings, ache, numbness and even having a hard time to breath. its starting to devour me all over again and all i can do is sit and stare blankly thinking what i can do. i'm not new to this kind of feeling but it'll just remind me of my stupidness, realizing why in the hell earth you jumped in again to this the same pit hurting yourself over again. its a question i wanted to ask and its the only question i could not even think of to reason out. just too complicated to understand, even i am having a hard time to understand myself. i never thought i had a dysfunctional kind of relationship till i realized that it already was. i never ran out of lame excuses but i cannot even think of one to cover this up. i want to break out already, think out the best things i could think of, enjoy, anticipate happiness but i just cant. i'm running out of positive things to think of and i think i had to remain on this agony. i just cant get enough of this song, just makes me think of how stupid i am.

Stubborn

i just hate the feeling that there are a lot of people who tries to over power other people because of what they have. Its like they are trying to bring back the old civilization where a king or a queen existed and would rule over the empire and when you have a cruel and boastful leader, good luck to you. I know this job is a remorse in terms of stress but what can make this job more remorseful is for those coldblooded dumb people who thinks they are great when in fact they know nothing and doesn't even know anything at all. I'm ranting on those people who think they are great because of their money but doesn't even have a brain to move on. People can love you for your money but trust me, your nothing when your money is gone. Such pathetic people exist in the world causing havoc on the achievement of peace that we should have. Damn them.