Reality Chase

Sometimes I thought of life is a big lie for me. Not everything in this world had been real for me I think, aside from my friends. Even my emotions, I usually fake it out, like everything is nuisance. I don't even know how to decipher reality and dream anymore. Sometimes I would want to wish dream to last more than it should, but when hit back by reality, it disappears. Dream for me is like smoke that disappears upon the strong blow of the wind. But I do have my plans to build on, some expectation that I wanted to meet and some achievement that I have to achieved. Its just the fact that, I don't know where to place it within me. They said it will be good for reality, but it feels better for me when I place it on my dreams. Now I'm confuse as well if my existence is real.

Google Mispelled?

I am not sure if all of you has observed the largest search page site having two L's. Well question no more, I found the site that gave the explanation for this error. Got this one from Telegraph.co.uk.

Googlle: Google releases misspelt logo to mark 11th anniversary

The search giant's name appeared with an extra letter "l" on its home page on Sunday, a change that did not escape the notice of the internet.

Within hours of the new logo going live, "why is google spelt wrong" and "why does google have two ls" were two of the most popular search phrases on the web.

Google was formed by Larry Page and Sergey Brin 11 years ago this month – in September 1998 – and the company has in the past altered its doodle to celebrate its own anniversaries.

For its tenth birthday last year the first letter "o" in Google was replaced with a cupcake.

Google has always used its logo as a way of commemorating important historical dates and major world events, but has become increasingly playful in recent weeks.

Last week Google put paid to speculation about the meaning of three "unexplained phenomena" doodles by admitting that they were designed to commemorate the 143rd birthday of the novelist HG Wells.

The first mysterious Google doodle appeared on September 5, and showed a flying saucer hovering over the Google logo and "abducting" the letter "O".

On September 15, a second Google doodle appeared, showing a flying saucer hovering over a field. The Google logo was spelt out as series of crop circles, and clicking on the doodle produced a list of web pages related to crop circles.

The third doodle, on September 21, featured a scene from Wells's book War of the Worlds.

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Null Changes

I used to say before that "I'm better off alone" after a couple of heart aches that I experienced before. I use to laugh with my friends especially when they, with their special someone, are arguing with something not worth arguing for. I use to have a share of that experience but its too rare cause I usually run away from it till later on, I have nothing to come back for. Some negative complexity that I had which I can't control. Till later I had the taste of same cup which I never thought I'd fall again. Funny though cause it's not the old thing I use to have. I would say it had changed some of my perception in life and had me doing things I could only think of. It's some what different or maybe its because I'm not used to this anymore. Life that I did grew up and had existed with has been different. And new approach that he's trying to show has been a bit smudgy for me. I can see he's undying effort, I would admit its me that who's not trying. I did made believe that I did, but I really am not exerting much effort to change for more. I don't know, maybe because my personal perception about change had been changed and now its defying my pride on how I perceive change. I didn't know I have to make someone suffer for the coldness that I had built up with. I wonder if he can take it long enough before I could change? I'm fearing I could be too late, that I have to lose everything before I could realize what I've got.

A Verdict to Change

"Hide our ignorance as we will, an evening of wine soon reveals it."
*Heraclitus*

they say change is constant, and its the only thing that moves forward in the world. i would say yes they could be right. but haven't we thought of this question about the changes that's happening, *did they change?*, *for what reason?*, *whats behind it?* and most of all is *until when?*. there has been a lot of things contradicting change and its existence, and i think i too would be one of those people.

i think i don't believe in changes anymore, why? remember the cliche, that a diamond submerged in mud will still be a diamond? so where is changes in that? applying to a person attitude and personality, would it also be significant? you thought of changing for the better, well there was a change, for sometime but you can never deny the fact that it'll still come back and your still gonna be the same person who you are.

for changes, will it be forever, promises are not even made forever, so how can you attest that changes are there. probably changes are constant its because changes do always happen, changing from bad to good going back to bad. its the irony that i find in this word, wondering how this word was created without thinking and sense. and i think that's something i have to realize for as well that bothers me a lot.

now i'm thinking of trust and its effect to me. can i still be the same person whom expected to be? i don't find happiness actually with the changes that i am doing with myself, it feels like not me. but to make people happy, you have to. but isn't lovers should understand both their differences and not their similarities? they could have been in love with such person because of their difference but trying to change because of what they think should be is a different thing. i am not an expert of this or that but i think i cant make it anymore. it's like im trying to be something im not which i said i would not do before. i think im being a hyprocrite of my own statement and stupid of what im doing. oh please, it feels like hell to me.