Sentiments and Confusion

lately I am on a downside part of my job. I've been receiving a lot of demotivating ideas going around my head and it seems like it wont go through. I've been totally drained out of my job and been hysterically devastated with the transition of our team to a different people who will handle us. First impressions do really last cause i really don't like who ever those people with us now. on the previous month, I was motivated to show off the best what I've got, but lately now I am more than willing and motivated to bring down my score.

My teams are very much happy, with how I look at them, with the new team lead we have but only I could give out a fake smile and happiness with my team. I find everything here unfair with the so called new team we have and would be more than willing to be terminated if given so. I've been reacting like this so much because i can no longer bear the agony of acting nothing and acting like nothing had gone wrong and everything is doing right on my part. i wanna shout out loud that i don't like everything that's happening on our team but because they are in the "POSITION", my respect always come first to them

now I am looking back to myself reflecting, i could have been one sided. i think I am just whining out not doing anything but i know i am. i know i have been respecting the same way i did before with our previous team lead. and I am pretty sure i am doing all my best to help out with the team but i don't know if maybe because of the thing we called "ARROGANCE" is blocking the way making me act like this.

Regrets and Regression

I never thought that i would think of regretting the day that i've been with my old company for a couple of months. Cause i was thinking that if i did had applied for the company that i've been with today, i could have had a better position. I just envy other people whom i know im better with wearing a good outfit, staying in the supervisors deck, roaming around and checking all the agents available and stuffs like that. Im envious in some ways but i dont know. I should hate myself why have i thought of this. I did have a good stay in my previous company knowing that i did have a lot of friends and company that i really did have fun with. And a plus factor that i do know networking and stuffs making me a competitive one. Well i think just have to work my way up and be known. Go for GOLD! It just reminded me of our supervisors motto, "WILL AND SKILL IS THE KEY".