Sep 3, 2009

A Verdict to Change

"Hide our ignorance as we will, an evening of wine soon reveals it."

they say change is constant, and its the only thing that moves forward in the world. i would say yes they could be right. but haven't we thought of this question about the changes that's happening, *did they change?*, *for what reason?*, *whats behind it?* and most of all is *until when?*. there has been a lot of things contradicting change and its existence, and i think i too would be one of those people.

i think i don't believe in changes anymore, why? remember the cliche, that a diamond submerged in mud will still be a diamond? so where is changes in that? applying to a person attitude and personality, would it also be significant? you thought of changing for the better, well there was a change, for sometime but you can never deny the fact that it'll still come back and your still gonna be the same person who you are.

for changes, will it be forever, promises are not even made forever, so how can you attest that changes are there. probably changes are constant its because changes do always happen, changing from bad to good going back to bad. its the irony that i find in this word, wondering how this word was created without thinking and sense. and i think that's something i have to realize for as well that bothers me a lot.

now i'm thinking of trust and its effect to me. can i still be the same person whom expected to be? i don't find happiness actually with the changes that i am doing with myself, it feels like not me. but to make people happy, you have to. but isn't lovers should understand both their differences and not their similarities? they could have been in love with such person because of their difference but trying to change because of what they think should be is a different thing. i am not an expert of this or that but i think i cant make it anymore. it's like im trying to be something im not which i said i would not do before. i think im being a hyprocrite of my own statement and stupid of what im doing. oh please, it feels like hell to me.

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