May 3, 2010

a lie and a feeling better

its going to be mother's day again and again this is the 23rd year that i haven't met my mom. sometimes i really wish i met her so at least i would have someone to listen to my foolish ideas. in the movies or tv shows that i watch, they're always a scene where parents importance are shown. that i usually envy a lot or most often times pricks my heart for unknown reason. well who should i blame then especially if you don't know any of the story.

i always think i am lucky and somewhat blessed with what i have experienced in my life. should i feel that way? or maybe because i am protecting the reality of what had happened to me. i am liar, but maybe because i know this makes the world go round. and it does make me feel better often times.

until when should i feel this way or does thing stays forever. 23 years of awaiting for truth is already a glimpse of forever for me. but why do i hope for a time that i could meet her, know her at be with her. maybe those are just one of those lies that i always create to make me feel better?

yes, to make me feel better.

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