Lately I have seen a lot of drastic changes to myself.
Before, vanity and peoples impression about me has never been issue. I don’t really care if I walk around mall wearing sandals and house clothes. But lately, I had been pretty conscious of what to wear, clothes to match and even what perfume to put on. How do I look like, is my hair fine, is my sweat beautiful and other stuffs like those. I really feel somewhat like being those people who values vanity a lot. Now I care much on how to look professionally and at the same time how to look vividly. I don’t even know what has come up with me but I guess this is what we call thinking Adulthood already.
Towards Other People.
The word people rarely exist on my mind before. My thinking before is that me and those people I love is the only important thing in the world. So as long nothing happened to them, the hell I care. But lately, I had been caring enough even just for a simple by stander who is having a lot of trouble just to by a simple water. My thinking before was “why would I care when no one has cared for me before?” has vanished. I guess my resentment and retribution to all the people has come to an end.
I have been more caring before with environment, but lately has a negative change on myself. Well the word “the hell I care” has just appeared to this aspect. My mentality had changed since my thinking that there is a lot of people who never cared to so why should I? Now I think I am already part of antagonism to Mother Earth. And I mean this is awfully bad.
Those changes had started to bother me a lot this time. I know its for my good but I think it starting to change me on things that I don’t even like. And those changes, its happening unconsciously. I think I am being a part of what we called modern people after all. Is this the right track, or not?