Rebloop

But they say Filipinos are among the best call center operators around! Here are real incidents from our call center subsidiary which does outbound telemarketing to US households. The comments in parenthesis were added in by a project manager whose job it is to audit some of the calls at random. He started circulating these anecdotes internally. Pinoy humor in real life.

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(CSR - Customer Service Representative)
CSR: Do you have any child so we could send out these gifts to you?
CLIENT: I'm sorry but i don't have any child.
CSR: Oh i understand, what about any grandchild? (wala ngang anak di ba, asa ka pang mayapo.

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CSR: . . . and for our records, may i know your child's b day?
CLIENT: I don't know her b day. . .
CSR:Oh come on, it's your responsibility to know your child's b day. (tarayan ba ang customer?)

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CLIENT: (mad) how many times do i have to tell you I didn't purchase any card!
CSR: Ma'am, I'm talking about a 'car', a toy car, not a card.
CLIENT: but i said i didn't purchase any card!
CSR: No ma'am, not a card, what i mean is a car, an automotive. (baka ibig mong sabihin automobile)

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CLIENT: What is that space bag bulk storage system? (By the way, a space bag is a big bag, not sure if it's made of plastic, which size adjusts depending! on the amount of air you vacuum out)
CSR:(with limited product knowledge) Well sir, it's some kind of a space bag, it's like a storage system where you put your things. (salamat sa explanation)

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CLIENT: What is this space bag?
CSR: (basta may masabilang) ah sir, it's the thing worn by astronauts.(kakaiba tong taong to) BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HE IS NOW ONE AMONG THE FEW SELECTED TRAINERS.

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CSR: We are giving you a free gift. You can either have the space bug bulk storage system or . . . CLIENT: What the hell is a space bug? (a single letter spelled the big difference)

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CLIENT: What is this squeeze wrench?
CSR: It's a wrench that you squeeze for better grip. (huh?)

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CLIENT: I won't allow you telemarketers to fool me. Nothing in this world is for free. Now tell me the catch!
CSR: (medyo napikon at umisip ng pambawi) Ah sir, have you ever listened to the Beatles?
CLIENT: Well what about it?
CSR: What does their song say about the best things in life?
CLIENT: It's free.... but you know what ...
CSR: (bangs the phone before the client could start with his stuff. (YIKES)

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CSR: One last thing sir, may i have your city of birth?
CLIENT: What?
CSR: Your city of birth?
CLIENT:What? i can't quite hear you.
CSR: (irita na) I said your city of birth, the place of your born! (nagalit pa)

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In the initial calling days, we were encouraged to go verbatim as little as possible. Stick to the script! Seems like a good practice right? (except for some special incidents).

CSR: So how is your car wash gadget?
CLIENT: It was a piece of junk! (irate)
CSR:Oh that's nice to hear from you, sir! (at least nag-stick sa script)

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CSR: As a way of expressing our gratitude, we are sending your choice of free gift. You could either have a Bushnell binoculars.....
CLIENT: What is a binocular?
CSR: It's the thing you use to make far objects appear closer.
CLIENT: I don't get it.
CSR:You know, it's the thing you use when you look out the window....
CLIENT: I'm sorry but i really don't know it.
CSR: (a bright idea came about) ah! sir, have you ever seen a telescope?
CLIENT: Yup!
CSR: All you do now is get one telescope on your right hand, and another one on the left, put them together, look at the eye pieces and there you have binoculars.
CLIENT:Oh, you mean binoculars! (may point tong CSR na to noh?)

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CSR: Yes, may i talk to mr. _ _ _ _ _ ?
CLIENT:He's not around, is there anything i can do for you?
CSR: It's ok, i just called to inform him that because he purchased an item from us, he is entitled to receive a free gift item. Anyway, I'll just call humpback.
CLIENT: Really? would you like me to give you his mobile phone no. so you can get in touch with him.
CSR: Ok! (CSR noticed that the cell no. lacks the first four digits, he forgot that he was talking to US people, so he asked) Is it Globe or Smart?
CLIENT:pardon?
CSR: (realizing he committed a mistake) oh, i said i'll just try to contact him......

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A newly hired CSR just made his first sale . .
CSR: Yes! (sabay lagok sa coffee ng katabi nya) (tama ba namang ma-carried away)

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Note: It is a common practice in SVI-connect that a coach sits beside a first timer. Another newly hired CSR (good looking) just made his first sale (or should I say her first sale). Anyway, here is her, I mean history:

CSR: (extremely tense while pitching. From time to time, he looked at his coach to verify if he is doing the right things. Coach approved. Finally,after a few minutes of persuading the client to accept the offer, he was able to close the deal. He became so delighted that he faced his coach (who happens to be an attractive lady), embraced her, and said 'thank you mommy!' (BUMIGAY ANG BRUHA!)

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CSR: We are giving away a free miniature car for free just because you purchased a product from us before. Well anyway sir, do you happen to be a car collection? (mas maganda yatang pakinggan kung car collector)

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CSR: ... and as a safeguard to show that i really did talk to you, may i have your city of birth, the place where you were born?
CLIENT: Inglewood
CSR:Where sir? In the woods? You were born in the woods?(Sino yan, si Tarzan?) enjoyy....

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