Null Changes

I used to say before that "I'm better off alone" after a couple of heart aches that I experienced before. I use to laugh with my friends especially when they, with their special someone, are arguing with something not worth arguing for. I use to have a share of that experience but its too rare cause I usually run away from it till later on, I have nothing to come back for. Some negative complexity that I had which I can't control. Till later I had the taste of same cup which I never thought I'd fall again. Funny though cause it's not the old thing I use to have. I would say it had changed some of my perception in life and had me doing things I could only think of. It's some what different or maybe its because I'm not used to this anymore. Life that I did grew up and had existed with has been different. And new approach that he's trying to show has been a bit smudgy for me. I can see he's undying effort, I would admit its me that who's not trying. I did made believe that I did, but I really am not exerting much effort to change for more. I don't know, maybe because my personal perception about change had been changed and now its defying my pride on how I perceive change. I didn't know I have to make someone suffer for the coldness that I had built up with. I wonder if he can take it long enough before I could change? I'm fearing I could be too late, that I have to lose everything before I could realize what I've got.